本文探究女性的婚外親密經驗，以及她們如何理解婚姻和親密關係。本文顯示異性戀婚姻的強制性鬆動，但仍深具性／別篩選意涵──進入異性婚的女性，仍被期待展演傳統婚家體制下的女性責任。涉入婚外關係也關乎女性的自我認同的協商；包括已婚女性如何看待強加的女性職責與自我認同的斷裂、婚外關係如何弔詭地提供未婚女性同時可以享有關係，並保有自由、獨立自我的空間。最後，婚外親密的實踐固然多元，但龐大的道德污名仍使得多數女性試圖當個「稱職的第三者」，從而使得婚外親密實作反而持續地鞏固婚家體制。

This article aims to analyze women’s experiences of extramarital intimacies (EMI) and the ways in which they understand marriage and intimacy. Research shows that gendered marital regimes play an important role in shaping women’s involvement in EMI. Married women develop EMI because the imposed womanhood is extremely unbearable and constrains their daily lives. However, unwed young women choose to be involved in EMI to avoid marriage. Moreover, EMI is highly related to women’s gender and sexual self; for example, how married women make sense of womanhood in marriage and their own sense of self, and how EMI paradoxically allows unwed women to enjoy a relationship that allows them to claim a free and independent self. Although diverse practices of EMI among women, most interviewees manage to be a “proper 3rd person,” and thus reproduce the traditional marital regime on a daily basis.