李賀詩的疾病書寫與自我呈現之指稱

Illness and Self-reference in Li Ho’s Poetry

本文旨在經由具有切身經驗的疾病呈現，探討一位二十歲患病，壯年即逝的詩人李賀，意欲於詩中展露的自我形象與情感內涵。
李賀因疾病而揭開對實存世界的悟察，並從中經歷了數次的「自我指稱」轉換，在疾病與仕途共盪的時間序列上，展現對自我價值與生存處境的認識從混沌到澄清。本文特別關注疾病不僅為李賀遭讒際遇與清高形象的烘托，而髮白身枯的病容刻劃，亦為李賀竭力展現一少年舉子奮志詩書卻摧殘折敗，價值失落而渴望認同的「自我」。最後一塊「自我」拼圖，綴合在生死幻滅的存在邊界上，李賀將「自我」藏身於齎志沒地而嚶嚶悲泣的魂靈，呈現強韌不滅的姿態，抗衡蓋棺論斷之「官不過奉禮」的清冷微末。
疾病固然帶來消極的人生預告，而當李賀取回疾病話語權，疾病於是成為「自我」表達形象與展演情感的重要途徑，也是世人把捉李賀形象與情感內涵的關鍵。此詩人意識性賦予疾病意義的書寫行為，突顯疾病帶給人類的積極意義，亦是疾病在人文領域中最宏偉的價值。

This study aims to explore the self-image and emotional connotations of Li Ho, a poet who fell ill in his twenties and died in his prime, through the vivid portrayal of his experience with illness.
Li Ho revealed his understanding of the real world through his illness, experiencing several transformations of‘self-reference.’In his poems, he deliberately linked illness with his official career to express how his perception of self-worth and living conditions evolved from chaos to clarity. Illness not only contrasted with his suffering from slander and aloof image, but also symbolized the portrayal of his pale and withered body, embodying a‘self’——a young man striving to compose poetry while being devastated and yearning for recognition. The final aspect of this‘self’was hidden within a weeping ghost, burdened with unfulfilled aspirations. Through these expressions, Li Ho demonstrated his tenacious and indomitable spirit, redefining his self-worth and purpose.
Although the illness undoubtedly foretold a pessimistic life, Li Ho reclaimed his‘right’and transformed the illness into a significant medium for expressing his self-image and emotions. The illness also led readers to trace Li Ho’s experiences Through his writing style, Li Ho assigned a positive meaning to human existence through the lens of illness. Thus, illness became a profound subject in the realm of humanistic inquiry.