從吞恨到感恩：見證白色恐怖

From Grief to Blessing: A Testimony of the White Terror

本文從其人、其事、其文，介述漢學家孫康宜的白色恐怖經歷與回憶錄《走出白色恐怖》。文中勾勒臺灣白色恐怖高壓統治的時代背景與政治緣由，並反思事過境遷，後之來者對於恐怖與傷痕的言說與敘事之意義。《走出白色恐怖》從一家人的跨海遷徙寫起，記錄下二二八事件爆發以來接踵而至的家族厄運，此厄運牽繫著外省父親與左翼份子大舅的命運交集、孫康宜己身失語的痛苦、母親的忍辱負重、父親創傷後的噤聲……，無不揭示著歷史的非理性與恐怖的癥結。值得關注的是，孫康宜的書寫奮鬥於暴力的述說與「難以述說性」，積極寫下那些感恩與值得述說的情誼、仁愛與自尊，完成了從吞恨到感恩的心路歷程與生命見證，是我們又一次思考現代中國暴力與正義、創傷與救贖的例證。

This essay discusses Professor Kang-i Sun-Chang's—a renowned scholar of Chinese literature—first-hand experience of the White Terror and her memoir Journey Through the White Terror. The essay explains the historical background and political context of the White Terror in Taiwan, a period of intense governmental surveillance and suppression, and reflects on what narratives and discourses about such (post)trauma mean to the following generations. Journey Through the White Terror begins with the Sun family's cross-strait move and continues to record a series of ordeals that fell upon the family after the eruption of the February 28 Incident. The ill-fated Incident linked together the life of Sun's father, a Chinese Mainlander, and her mother's older brother, a leftist; it brought to the author a painful loss of paternal care, to her mother much toil and labor, and to her father a post-traumatic self-silencing. Their stories reveal the irrationality of history and many symptoms of terror. What is noteworthy is that Professor Sun-Chang's writing casts light on the struggle between narrating violence and its “impossible narratibility,” thereby leaving records of her blessings, of support, friendship, and love for her family, and of self-esteem. Her memoir is a testimony to a tremendous transformation of a life that was full of grief to a life full of blessings; a testimony that allows us to reconsider violence and justice, as well as trauma and salvation in the modern history of Taiwan and China.