飄浪女的「戀愛幻想」──林芙美子《浮雲》

The Love Fantasies of A Wandering Woman–On “The Drifting Cloud” by Hayasi Fumiko

《浮雲》（1950年）是流浪小說家知名的林芙美子晚年的傑作。在完成《浮雲》不到三個月後，芙美子便與世長辭。第二次世界大戰時，女主角ゆき子（Yukiko）為了逃離與姊夫弟弟伊庭的不倫之戀，而前往法屬印度尼西亞──在越南南部的答拉（Dalat），在當地ゆき子邂逅了已婚的農林省技師富岡，兩人陷入熱戀，不久日本戰敗各自返回日本。ゆき子無法忘記在法屬印度尼西亞時那夢幻般的戀情，苦纏著一直無法離開妻子的富岡。明知道這男子的頹廢不堪，卻藕斷絲連地持續這段孽緣的男女情痴物語。ゆき子對戀愛的幻想，表面上看來依賴著男性，然後與許多男性發生性關係，是既屈辱而墮落的。然而，在實際生活上，她像娼婦般的性經驗，則展現出一種既奔放而自由的生活方式。但在家庭體制之外的異類女性，對於戀愛、對於感情，有怎樣的深刻體會呢？ゆき子到病死為止，一生都被貼上情婦、娼婦的標籤，像她這樣家庭體制外的女性，在其輾轉身處日本與殖民地間所經歷的戀情，她內在所潛藏的「他者性」──不自覺地遊移在「自立」與「依賴」之間的心態習慣，乃至於她心裡揮之不去、戀愛型態裏成雙成對的舊鄉愁，其內涵正是本論文所欲剖析的主題。

“The Drifting Cloud” (1950) was one of the great works by Hayasi Fumiko, a famous vagrant novelist, in her latter part of life. Hayasi Fumiko passed away within 3 months on completing “The Drifting Cloud.” In World War II, the female protagonist, Yukiko, headed for the French Indonesia--- Dalat of Southern Vietnam, to escape from the unethical love with her brother-in-law. There, Yukiko met and fell in deep love with the married agricultural technician, Tomioka. Shortly after the Japanese lost the battle, and they each returned home to Japan. Yukiko could not let go of the dream-like affair in the French Indonesia, and kept contacting with Tomioka, who was not able to leave his wife. Knowing that the man is extremely decadent, she still continued with this unblessed affair, and could not let go of it. Superficially, Yukiko's love fantasies that had caused her to depend on males and to have sexual relationships with various men, were humiliating and degenerative. Yet in the real life, the prostitute-like sexual experiences were displaying a kind of ebullient, free lifestyle. All her life until she died of illness, Yukiko had been labelled as a mistress, a prostitute. This essay will seek to dissect and analyze the following themes: the affairs that a woman outside of the family system experienced in and out of Japan and the colony; the hidden, internal “otherness”──attitude and habitual behaviours that unknowingly drifted between “independence” and “reliance”; and the old, unforgettable nostalgic lifestyle of a couple deeply in her heart.