從汙名到聖痕——障礙照顧中的自我位移、時空交融與內在性生成

From Stigma to Stigmata－Self-Displacement, Time-Space Blending and Internal Transformation in Disability Care

照顧經驗如何成為帶來轉化的修行經驗，甚至可以將障礙的汙名轉為受苦耶穌的聖痕？本文以盧雲神父的日記與靈修作品為研究素材，探究他在方舟團體中照顧重障者亞當的經驗如何為他帶來內在性的轉化。障礙照顧的經驗使盧雲的修行自我受照顧自我牽引，讓自我的內在分歧由對峙趨向匯合，照顧自我的肉身入道使修行自我核心的道成肉身得以體現。更進一步對自我進行現象學還原，我也指出往障礙者動身的自我位移，實則是逼近邊界，躍入域外的轉化契機，這不僅帶來物理與社會場所的改變，更在根本上鬆動線性時間，使得原來被空間化的時間得以交融於往內在性流轉的時間化空間。在這樣的凝視空間中，照顧與修行、由肉身入道而道成肉身的雙向匯入，讓修行自我的內在性於此蘊生。

How can the care experience trigger spiritual transformation, even turning the stigma of the disabled into the stigmata of the suffering Jesus? Taking Father Henri Nouwen’s diary and spiritual writings as research materials, this article explores Nouwen’s caring experiences in the L’Arche community. Nouwen’s caring practice began with the ascetic-self but only guided by the caring-self he could truly move toward Adam, a severely disabled person. Such a movement, I call it a“self-displacement”, is an opportunity to approach the boundary of the self and leap into“otherness”. This not only brings about changes in physical and social environments, but also fundamentally loosens the hegemony of linear temporality. Therefore, the originally spatialized temporality can be blended into the temporalized space that flows toward immanence.