從人類八大通性談說話習慣

Eight Common Behavior Tendencies and Speaking Habits

本文主旨在說明習慣領域學說中的重要理念─人類八大通性對說話習慣的啟發。首先，提出人的說話習慣容易受到人類通性的左右而不自知，並以「鄭袖與美人」的故事說明，若不諳人性，又不瞭解溝通的禁忌，很可能遭致人際、事業的失敗。接著，一一說明習慣領域的人類八大通性，包括：同類互比、印象概推、投射效應、近而親、相互回報、相似相親、替罪羊、責任擴散的定義，以及瞭解此通性後，在說話上要注意因應的禁忌與善用技巧。例如，瞭解了「同類互比」的特性後，在說話上就要少用「比較」句，不要把對方和別人比較。又如，和同類進行互比後，如果贏了要說感謝他人的言語，並且要謙虛分享努力經驗給需要的朋友；如果輸了要用言語讚賞對方的表現，並真誠向其請益成功之道，培養和自己比的習慣，鼓勵自己在說話習慣上往愈來愈好的方向前進。最後，筆者以善解人性、善巧溝通鼓勵讀者多認識人類通性，並將其應用在日常生活的溝通中。

The main purpose of this article is to illustrate the inspiration of the eight common behavior tendencies in habitual domains theory on speaking habits. First of all, people’s speaking habits are easily influenced by the eight common behavior tendencies without awareness. The story of “Zheng Shuang and the beauty” shows that if you don’t know behavior tendencies of humanity and don’t understand the taboo on communication, you may end up with the failure of interpersonal and career. Then the author illustrates the definition of eight common behavior tendencies one by one, including: social comparison, halo effect, projection effect, proximity theory, reciprocation, similarity effect, scape goating, responsibility diffusion followed by the illustrations of the communication taboo and the communication strategy. For example, if you understand the characteristics of “social comparison,” you should not use “compare” sentences during conversations, nor comparing others to others. If you win a competition, say thankful words to appreciate those who help you and share your successful experience with someone who would like to know. If you lose a competition, praise for the efforts and performance of the winner. We must try to develop a comparison with ourselves and encourage ourselves to move in a better and better direction in our speaking habits. Finally, the author encourages the reader to understand the eight common behavior tendencies and the speech strategy based on those behavior tendencies.