從零餘者、倖存者，回歸於生手的天真：論賴香吟《其後それから》的加法書寫

Reverting From the Superfluous Person and Survivor to the Naive Novice: On the Additional Writing of Lai Hsiang-Yin's Thenceforth

1995年，邱妙津在法國自死之消息，為同志文學於臺灣文壇帶來爆炸性震撼。邱妙津並留下了「遺書」，指定交付給書寫上的心靈夥伴賴香吟。
起初賴香吟對此失去陳述能力。或者說，因無法正確理解這起生命事件的意義及因果環節，讓書寫變成「不能」、「無由」。書寫上「減法」的歷程於焉展開。作為一名死亡事件後的「零餘者」，賴香吟「寫得慢，離得遠」。然而一位擁有「靈敏」心靈的作家，自能在書寫中找到答案。當她正視問題，著手有關當年事件的描寫，零餘者的自覺，才逐漸轉化為「生手的天真」──用藝術上「靈敏」的心靈，去描寫「如此不穩定又如此難以描述的現象」。因此她捨棄「減法」，轉用「加法」的書寫方式。賴香伶知道，唯有用「加法」書寫，將細節如螺絲釘般卡進正確的位置，記憶的機器才能轉動，她也才能「重獲詮釋的能力」。其結果便是2012年《其後》的出版。
本文所欲探討者，其一為賴香吟如何從零餘者、倖存者的減法書寫，轉化到生手的天真之加法書寫；其加法書寫對於作家於文本中構築記憶、敘述、詮釋的重要性為何。其次，在這樣的轉化中，作家生命於廢墟中重生，我們也得以藉由《其後》的細膩文字，窺見沉潛內斂風格下的賴香吟，經歷了什麼樣的敘事主體追索歷程。

In 1995, the news of Qiu Miao-Jin's suicidal death in France brought an explosive shock to the literary world of LGBT literature in Taiwan. Qiu Miao-Jin left behind a ''suicide note'', which she designated to her writing soulmate, Lai Hsiang-Yin.
At first, Lai lost the ability to tell the story. Or, rather, she was unable to understand the meaning of this life event and its causal link, which made the writing ''impossible'' and ''unjustifiable''. The process of ''subtraction'' in writing began here. As a ''superfluous person'' after a deadly incident, Lai Hsiang-Yin ''wrote slowly and stayed away''. However, only a writer with a ''nimble'' mind could find the answers in her writing. It was only when she faced up to the problem and began to write about the events of that year that the self-awareness of the superfluous person gradually transformed into the ''naive novice'' - she used her artistic ''nimble'' mind to describe ''such an unstable and indescribable phenomenon.'' Therefore, she has abandoned the ''subtraction'' method and switched to the ''addition'' method of writing. Lai Hsiang-Yin knew that only by writing in an ''additive'' way, by putting details in the right place like screws, could the memory machine operate and she could ''regain the power of interpretation''. The result was the publication of Thenceforth in 2012.
In this paper, I will try to explore how Lai Hsiang-Yin has transformed from the ''subtractive'' writing of the ''superfluous person'' and ''survivor'' to the ''additive'' writing of the “naive novice”; and what is the importance of additive writing to the writer's construction of memory, narration, and interpretation in the text. Secondly, in this transformation, the writer's life was reborn out of the ruins, and through the delicate words of Thenceforth, we can witness what kind of narrative journey Lai Hsiang-Yin underwent under her subtle and astringent style.