《我城》與存在主義：西西自〈東城故事〉以來的創作軌跡

Existentialism and My City: Xixi’s Trace of Writing since “Story of Dongcheng”

《我城》是西西創作的轉捩點，是告別存在主義時期的代表作。本文嘗試提出另一個看法，認為存在主義時期的創作，對於解讀《我城》的某些章節，仍然起著重要的作用。西西的存在主義思想受加謬的影響最深，這和香港文壇重視存在主義對讀者的負面影響有關，本文將圍繞著加謬的《局外人》和《薛西弗斯的神話》兩部著作，分析其對《我城》的影響，以及其在她的作品中如何不斷地創造性演化。全文大約分為兩個部分，第一部分的目的在論證《我城》和存在主義的關係，並指出將存在主義對西西的影響集中在加謬的原因。第二部分著眼於《我城》對存在主義思想的演繹，並以存在主義的幾個主題為綱來討論，其中包括《薛西弗斯的神話》中提到的「都很好」的精神、對待死亡的態度、自殺的自由、絕望式的希望、人與人的溝通等。

Xixi’s classic My City is generally regarded as signifying her adieu to Existentialism and turn into another stage of writing. However, this article suggests a different point of view by emphasizing the vital function of interpreting certain sections of My City in light of her writings during the Existentialism period. Xixi’s thinking in Existentialism was deeply influenced by Albert Camus, which was influenced by the special attention given to Camus among other existentialists by the Hong Kong literary circle at the time due to its concern with readers’ response to their various stances. Hence this article centers on two writings by Camus, The Stranger and The Myth of Sisyphus, analyzing their influence on My City as well as their continual transmutations in her other writings. The article mainly has two parts. The first examines the relationship between My City and Existentialism and explains why Xixi’s interest in Existentialism was centered on Camus. The second suggests a vantage for interpreting the Existentialism in My City. Identifying several themes that are rooted in Existentialism, the discussion relates them to Camus’s reflection, in The Myth of Sisyphus, that “all is well” and his attitude towards death, freedom from suicide, the despairing hope, and the impossibility of communication between people, etc.