寓居於「家」：由關係脈絡探究癌症喪親者的悲悼心思及其流變

The Journey of Becoming and Being- In-The-Home: Exploring Two Siblings’ Bereavement Experiences and Life Situatedness to Their Death Father

研究目的：文化脈絡顯示「關係」是悲悼研究重要主題，本研究聚焦於關係面向探討喪親者的悲悼心理經驗及其關係場域「家」的變化。研究方法：以一對喪父的兄妹為受訪者，於父親過世一年期間，各自進行兩次訪談。資料蒐集後，以現象學心理學方法與家庭為單位的對偶研究，貼近受訪者經驗處境現象。研究結果：兄妹受訪者雙元經驗的置身結構與時間性脈絡，涵蓋關係的位移、喪親者生命史、時空交織的記憶情感、家的不可分割性等現象結構，並顯示其面對親人過世，起初傾向藉由鞏固自身主觀界定、情感寄託的「家」，找尋內在居家感。然而，存有的居家感源於變化的位址，喪親者內在居家感的歸返，終在關係經驗及生活世界的流動中，朝向域外。本研究提出以存有論關照喪親經驗的可能視域及相關討論。研究結論：兩位受訪者間異同經驗，呈顯家作為一種「居家感」的重要意涵，並帶出「生命境位的否面性」與「流變經驗的倫理性」現象及其臨床反思。

Purpose: We aimed to enrich understanding of the subjective experience of grief of bereaved siblings after the cancer death of their father. Methods: A brother and sister who lost their father to cancer were interviewed twice individually about a half year after their father passed away, with a 6-month follow-up. The interviews were recorded, transcribed, and analyzed using a phenomenological dyadic approach. Results: The analysis revealed four general structures which is relational transformation, life history review of the bereaved, affective memories embedded in temporality and spatiality, and the context of home in the narrative data. The siblings initially stuck to their personal sense of home to regain homelikeness that is a homelike being-in-the-world in which the lived body in most cases has a transparent quality as the point of access to the world in understanding activities after the death event. The feeling of homelikeness is embedded in a becoming process; it is not a stable state. The siblings eventually faced the changes, the negativity or absent side related to their home, and then needed to embrace outside experiences. Conclusions: Homelikeness is the underlying transformative structure of home. Death shed light on the essential negativity of life, and the ethical relational experience between the bereaved and the deceased. The clinical implications and research suggestions from this study are discussed.