從情慾經驗到認同：預設異性戀框架下的自我認識

From Sexual and Romantic Experiences to Identity: Understanding the Self in the Framework of Heteronormality

人們的性傾向認同如何形成？與情慾感受的關聯又為何？對比本質論觀點主張不同認同者有生理或本質的差異，建構論觀點強調人們對情慾感受賦予的意義是形塑認同的主要歷程（Arseneau et al., 2013）。為了探討人們的情慾經驗與其所理解這些經驗的意義，本研究深度訪談50位年齡介於18 ~ 29歲的異性戀、同性戀、雙性戀及疑性戀認同者，以了解他們如何形成性傾向認同，情慾經驗又扮演怎樣的角色。研究結果顯示，在預設異性戀的臺灣社會，人們去理解這些情慾感受的意義，並解釋、排除特定經驗，進而形塑自己的性傾向認同，符合建構論的觀點。在這個理解與形塑自身認同的過程中，預設異性戀的社會架構與交往腳本一方面讓人們有本可循，降低不確定性，但另一方面也成為人們困惑、難以言說的絆腳石。本研究綜合比對不同性傾向認同者，顯示與線性階段論不相符的結果，突顯出四個重要歷程：預設異性戀的社會氛圍的直接影響、預設異性戀的社會氛圍下的情慾經驗的理解、所屬群體的權力視角及人際關係中自我的定位。本研究顯示深入了解在既有的社會結構與脈絡下，人們理解自己情慾經驗感受並形成認同的重要性，並期許更多的了解能增加社會的彈性開放，讓不同情慾經驗感受的人都能理解並接納自己。

The current research aims to understand how different sexual identifiers achieve identity and self-understanding in intimate relationships. Different explanations are offered by essentialism and social constructionism. In contrast to essentialism, which states that people have inborn sexual and romantic feelings towards targets of the same or different sex and that people realize such feelings and formulate sexual orientation identity through actual experiences, social constructionism emphasizes the importance of the meanings and understanding people come to learn about their sexual and romantic feelings in the formulation of sexual orientation identity (Arseneau et al., 2013). As the first study to interview heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and questioning identifiers altogether, we recruited 50 young adults (aged 18-29) in Taiwan and investigated how they integrated the information about their sexual and romantic feelings to formulate an identity. Our findings show that in heteronormative Taiwan, people understand, explain, and/ or exclude their sexual and romantic experiences to shape their sexual orientation identity. There were four important processes intertwined with heteronormative social contexts: The direct impacts of heteronormative social contexts, the understanding of sexual and romantic experiences and feelings in heteronormative social contexts, the power-sensitive perspective of belonging to a specific social group, and the self positioned in the interpersonal relationships. The assumed heterosexual identifiers equate heterosexual identity as being natural and inborn, even when their behaviors may not be consistent with heteronormative scripts. In contrast to the assumed heterosexual identifiers, most people achieve a greater understanding of the self in intimate relationships by being aware of the impacts of heteronormative social contexts and explicitly contrasting the expected scripts in heteronormative social contexts and their own feelings. In addition, identification with a specific social group may serve as an anchor for people to understand their broader life and experiences and further ascertain their sexual orientation identities. Lastly, respondents reported the importance of others (e.g., the resistance of the parents or the assistance of friends) in achieving their sexual orientation identities. From our interview study, we showed that it’s important to investigate how people learn to understand their sexual and romantic experiences and feelings and formulate their sexual orientation identities under the constraints of social structure and contexts. Through this understanding, we may learn to increase the flexibility and openness of society to allow people with varying sexual and romantic experiences to see themselves, understand themselves, and embrace themselves.