我畫我自己，故我存在：以施叔青《兩個芙烈達．卡蘿》為中心

I Portray Myself; Therefore I Am: Focusing on Shih Shu-ching’s Liang ge Fulieda Kaluo (Frida Kahlo)

自畫像具有現代主義藝術家轉向自我審視的旨趣，同時也呈顯出這一美學思想的核心關注：主體性；施叔青曾經在〈那些不毛的日子〉（1970）提及畫下敘事者「童年夢魘的一頁頁風景」的孟克（Edvard Munch）如此，在《兩個芙烈達‧卡蘿》（2001）中尋蹤、追問「終其一生努力不懈地描繪自己的容顏」的墨西哥女畫家亦如此。施叔青小說中呈現對於內在精神的審視和刻畫，透過論者如王德威所指出的怪誕、鬼魅主題，連結上現代主義者對於異端的傾向，亦往往流露著主體性分裂的危機，就像畫家隔著畫布自畫。本文嘗試從跨藝術的角度，藉由自我的再現，及觀看的主、客體關係等，以《兩個芙烈達‧卡蘿》為討論的中心，兼論另一部同樣以藝術為主軸、介於虛構與真實的「旅行小說」《驅魔》（2005）。對於曾著有藝術論著的施叔青，這些雕刻與畫作如何進入文學的視野？而跨藝術如何可能提供一個重新觀看小說的方式？更重要的是，現代主義所關注的主體性問題，又如何在小說家複雜的觀看和書寫形式中展開？

The self-portraits of the modernist artists carry the examination of their own, which is also the main concern of aesthetics: subjectivity. In Shih Shu-ching’s ＂The Barren Years＂ (1970), the narrator writes ＂landscape in childhood nightmare＂ after seeing Edvard Munch’s self-portrait. Similarly, the Mexican female painter in Liang ge Fulieda Kaluo (Frida Kahlo) (2001) pursues to portray herself with efforts throughout her life. Shih Shu-ching presents examination and portray of the inner spirit in her novels. Through the grotesque and ghostly theme indicated by David Der-wei Wang, the novels are connected with the modernist tendency of heresy, and often reveal the crisis of a split subjectivity, just like the painter’s self-portrait. This paper attempts to look at the self-representation and looking-and-being-looked relationship between subject and object from the artistic point of view of crossing. Besides focusing on Liang ge Fulieda Kaluo (Frida Kahlo), it discusses another ＂travel novel＂ Chumo (Exorcism) (2005), which, as a piece of art, also situates between the fabrication and the truth. For Shih Shu-ching who is also an art critic, how do these carvings and paintings enter the field of literature? And how does the crossing of art possibly provide a new way of rethinking novels? More importantly, how does the issue of subjectivity of modernists proceed within the novelist’s complex form of seeing and writing?