喪親者與逝者關係之轉化及哀傷調適之研究：以與逝者對話活動為例

Transformation of Relationship Between the Bereaved and Deceased and Promotion of Grief Adjustment: Activity Involving Conversations with the Deceased

研究發現華人喪親者雖透過喪儀平台，持續與逝者連結來療癒哀傷，但有些喪親者可能因諸多外在因素而長年壓抑哀傷表達，且與逝者處於不和諧關係。根據東西方文獻指出，表達哀傷及與逝者連結可作為哀傷調適之策略，故本研究將之融入與逝者對話活動。本研究目的在探討喪親者參與與逝者對話活動前後，轉化其與逝者關係及哀傷調適之情形。本研究採質性取徑，以3次深度訪談5位喪親多年之中高齡者，蒐集其參與與逝者對話活動前後之資料，以詮釋學分析資料。本研究結果：（一）受訪者參與本活動前已持續多年哀傷，且與逝者維持不和諧關係；在參與本活動後，哀傷獲得調適，與逝者關係轉化為和諧關係；（二）本活動轉化哀傷及與逝者關係之因素為：在允許哀傷之安全教學環境，本活動提供回憶逝者及與逝者對話之平台，使其有機會經驗與表達哀傷，並喚起與創造好的內在客體的逝者；而正念呼吸有協助其放鬆與覺察。本研究發現：（一）喪親者的哀傷和逝者的不和諧關係密切關聯，對長年哀傷者，與逝者連結的華人喪儀，可能缺乏表達哀傷之安全社會環境；（二）本活動提供此環境，協助其表達哀傷，並與逝者有正向的連結，進而與逝者轉化為和諧關係或完整的客體關係，並獲得哀傷調適，而此關係也持續伴隨喪親者。

Most grief theories have been proposed by Western scholars, and Taiwanese studies about coping with grief are primarily based on Western theories. However, death and grief in Taiwanese society are primarily influenced by Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism. In recent years, Taiwanese psychologists have proposed that Confucian societies such as Taiwan value harmony and balanced relationships with the deceased, spirits, and deities. Therefore, the bereaved have an ethical responsibility to perform a series of funeral rituals and to pray for deities to provide guidance to the deceased’s soul, such that the deceased can become a “deity” who protects the bereaved; otherwise, the deceased becomes a spirit, and the bereaved family cannot be at ease. In addition, funerals can catalyze the expression of grief and allow relatives to interact and provide support. After the deceased becomes a deified ancestor, the bereaved family worships the deceased regularly to cope with unresolved emotions and obtain blessings. Psychologists have proposed that, in Confucian societies, the goals of grief healing include ensuring that the bereaved achieves harmony and balance; the harmony of the relationship among the deceased, spirits, and deities is used to assess the grieving process and aid the bereaved in finding inner harmony. Per object relations theory, mourning repairs the damages loss causes to internal objects. Objects can be good or bad, and the study of object relations considers the interaction between the self and internal or external objects. Introjecting good objects is the foundation of positive object relations; individuals can think of these good internal objects and be reminded that good things exist even when the individuals suffer. The self eventually integrates the good and bad parts of the self and the object, achieving a complete object relationship. However, some individuals may be unable to develop a complete object relationship. Therefore, this study extends the interpretation of object relations theory as follows: When a bereaved individual introjects a deceased individual as a bad internal object associated with mostly bad object images, ideas, fantasies, feelings, and memories, the bereaved individual may continue to grieve because of continuing bonds. Nevertheless, if the bereaved individual can reminisce or introject good objects related to the deceased individual and integrate good and bad objects, then a complete object relationship can be developed. Therefore, this study considers grief derived from bereavement to be a response to a disharmonious relationship with the deceased and assumes the necessity of funeral rituals or other means of achieving a harmonious relationship. Although studies have indicated that the funeral rituals practiced in Confucian societies can help bereaved individuals to release their grief and maintain a harmonious relationship with the deceased, some bereaved individuals may experience grief for years because of many external factors (such as the rules of funeral rituals and social norms) and thus maintain a disharmonious relationship with the deceased. Studies have found that bereaved individuals have a tacit understanding of grief expression and follow emotional rules for expressing grief. Because bereaved individuals must account for the feelings of others and a multitude of external factors, they are unlikely to talk about deceased individual or express grief to family members and other people. Therefore, after the funeral period, most bereaved individuals convert their grief into self-repression and individual relief. Both Eastern and Western sources state that the expression of grief and maintenance of bonds with deceased individuals are strategies for coping with grief; therefore, the present study incorporated these concepts into an activity in which a bereaved individual engages in a conversation with the deceased. Studies have indicated that experiential death education is superior to didactic death education. Therefore, the present study adopted experiential death education. We divided the activity into three parts associated with a specific objective: knowing the deceased, reminiscing, and conversing with the deceased. By achieving these objectives, a bereaved individual might share a bereavement experience as well as stories and good memories of the deceased by creating a safe environment to experience and express grief. In our activity, a bereaved individual is blindfolded and instructed to breathe and relax with mindfulness and to imagine walking toward the door at the center of the universe. Upon reaching and opening the door, the deceased individual appears in front of the bereaved individual and takes a form determined by the bereaved individual’s imagination (which incorporates introjections of internal objects). The bereaved individual can then express their thoughts to the deceased and receive or feel the thoughts of the deceased. After participating in this activity, the bereaved individual is instructed to write down the thoughts received from the deceased individual. The present study examined the transformation of the relationship between the bereaved and deceased individual and the grief adjustments made by the bereaved while participating in this activity. A qualitative methodology was applied in the present study. A study sample comprising five participants (four women and one man) aged between 45 and 55 years was recruited. Data were collected using in-depth interviews and analyzed using hermeneutic analysis. The results were as follows. (1) Before participating in this activity, the participants had experienced grief for years and had disharmonious relationships with the deceased; however, by participating in the activity, they adjusted their grief, and their relationships with the deceased became harmonious. (2) The transformation of the relationships between bereaved individuals and the deceased can be attributed to the safe learning environment created during the activity, which allowed the bereaved to express their grief, recall their memories of the deceased, and converse with deceased; these processes resulted in opportunities for the bereaved to create and evoke good internal objects associated with the deceased. In addition, mindfulness and breathing helped them to release their thoughts and emotions and maintain a sense of awareness. The findings of the present study are as follows. (1) Unresolved grief is often closely related to a disharmonious relationship with the deceased. For individuals who had been mourning for years, the culture of mourning rituals, through which they maintained a relationship with the deceased, was not a safe social environment for expressing grief. (2) The activity provides an environment for individuals to express their grief, establish a positive connection and converse with the deceased, transform their relationship with the deceased into a harmonious or complete object relationship, and achieve grief adjustment. Taiwanese psychologists have proposed that bereaved individuals can participate in grief healing and find peace through mourning rituals; however, over time, such rituals may gradually become insufficient or be ignored. Conversing with the deceased not only helps bereaved individuals to repair their relationships with the deceased but also establishes an interpersonal network through which bereaved individuals can work through their grief. These findings support the implementation of grief adjustment-related support measures for bereaved individuals and warrant the further investigation and development of grief adjustment activities.