自我的修行：平路《間隙》的疾病療癒與靈性探索

Cultivation of the Self: Healing from Illness and Spiritual Exploration in Ping Lu’s The Gaps

在臺灣文學中，平路以多元的實驗技法，創作科幻、歷史與女性小說，卓然有成，但2019年的兩次罹癌經驗，使平路對生命的看法有所改變，並以散文集《間隙》轉向了疾病書寫的主題。罹病，宛如走上人生彎道，然而病後的「間隙」卻是獲得生命感悟與靈性轉化的契機。本文以《間隙》為探討對象，分析平路如何透過疾病的間隙經驗進行自我覺察、向內觀照、專注當下，改變價值認知，並開展對於神性和存有本源的體驗，進入超個人層次獲得清明的覺識，進而療癒痛苦之身，藉由親密關係的內省、破除執著、慈的練習和直面恐懼、旅行中聖地經驗的回憶，開展利他意識和宇宙意識，在生活中實踐靈性探索，獲得疾病療癒，成就自我修行的靈性道路，為臺灣的疾病書寫開拓了嶄新的路線。

In Taiwanese literature, Ping Lu has achieved great success in writing science fiction, historical fiction, and women’s fiction through her use of diverse experimental techniques. However, her two experiences with cancer in 2019 profoundly changed her attitude toward life, prompting a shift in her writing to themes of illness in her essay collection The Gaps. For her, illness is like making a detour in the journey of life, but the“gap”that emerges after illness also provides an opportunity for enlightenment, reflection, and spiritual transformation. This paper discusses The Gaps and analyzes how the gap experiences after illness lead Ping Lu to heightened self-awareness, deep introspection, a focus on the present, a reevaluation of her values, and an opening to experiences of divinity and the origins of being. These enable her to transcend the self and reach a clear and awakened consciousness. Additionally, she engages in introspective examinations of her intimate relationships, works to break attachments, practices benevolence, confronts fear directly, recalls her experiences in sacred places from past travels, and cultivates an altruistic mindset and cosmic consciousness. Through these spiritual explorations, Ping Lu not only recovers from illness but also completes a profound spiritual journey of self-cultivation. In doing so, she contributes to the development of a new and distinctive style of illness writing in Taiwan.