「逃離」與「追尋」－－以郝譽翔家族書寫中的「旅」為探討

'Escape'' and ''Pursuit''－－Discussing the ''travel'' in the writings of Yu-Hsiang Hao's family

郝譽翔在書寫家族紀事的《逆旅》與《溫泉洗去我們的憂傷：追憶逝水空間》兩個文本中，皆對父親的流亡史以及父親的缺席，進行了記憶的回溯與再現。本文以旅行書寫中的「圓形結構」作為方法，以郝譽翔與外省父親的返鄉之旅，與為了追尋父親生前最後身影所展開的越南之旅作為探討對象，探討引發父女二人向外出走的原因，並關照二人於旅行途中，經由與他者的相會，對自身帶來的省思。郝父因台灣人對其外省籍貫的排斥，而將身分認同與歸屬感寄託於中國原鄉，卻在踏上返鄉之旅後，感受到與原生家庭的疏離，並體認到原先象徵國族的符碼，已隨著時局的變遷而無法再現。郝譽翔則是困於缺乏父愛的童年記憶。父親的長年缺席，使父親講述的原鄉經驗成為郝譽翔了解父親的途徑。惟，作為父親失落記憶中的原鄉的見證者，返鄉之旅並未使父女二人的關係更靠近。直至越南之行的展開，郝譽翔才透過正視自身的童年創傷，釋放其多年來渴望獲得父親關愛的情感，最終與父親和解。

Yu-Hsiang Hao writes family chronicles in《Ni Lyu》and《Wen Quan Xi Qu Wo Men De You Shang：Zhui Yi Shi Shui Kong Jian》.In both texts, she writes her father's exile history and her father's absence. This article uses the ''circular structure'' in travel writing as a method. The journey of return to hometown and the journey to Vietnam are the subjects of discussion. Analyze the self-exploration hidden behind the outer body movement. First, I want to discuss the reasons that caused the father and daughter to leave home. Because of this, this article also pays attention to the reflections brought about by the two people through their interactions with others during the trip, and finally end up with the changes after the two returned home. Due to Taiwanese's rejection of his foreign nationality, Hao's father placed his identity and sense of belonging in his hometown China. However, after returning to his hometown, he felt alienated from his native family and realized that the symbols that originally symbolized the nation has been unable to be reproduced with the changes of the times. Yu-Hsiang Hao lacked the memory of his father's in her childhood. Her father's absence for many years made Hao's father 's memories of hometown become a way for Yu-Hsiang Hao to understand his father. However, as a witness to her father's hometown in his lost memory, the journey back home did not bring the relationship between father and daughter closer.Until the trip to Vietnam that Yu-Hsiang Hao faced up to her childhood trauma, she finally reconciled with her father.