躲藏的生命：論袁哲生《寂寞的遊戲》的孤絕書寫

Hiding Life: The Writings of Loneliness and Alienation in Yuan Zhe-Sheng's A Lonely Game

袁哲生《寂寞的遊戲》作為一本觀照現代人心靈景象的小說，以「寂寞」為核心，直擊了人之欲為個體卻又無力面對分離的生命困境。本文透過與埃里希．佛洛姆（Erich Fromm）「個體化」與「愛」兩個觀點的對話，切入小說文本對於「孤獨」與「疏離」的深切描寫，由此體察個體因自覺而寂寞，因寂寞而退避，又因退避而與自我、與他者疏離的生命情態。現代人對於「愛」（給予）的失能，即在於人們對於自身個體性的棄絕，以及對「被愛」（領受）的過度渴求，在《寂寞的遊戲》裡，人們未能向內建立對自我的認同，也未能向外尋得愛與隸屬的依歸，生命在「躲藏」與「再現」中矛盾掙扎，既脆弱又迷惘。身處於臺灣九○年代的袁哲生敏銳的覺察這般隱微的心靈問題，由此展開他的「孤絕書寫」，刻畫出特屬於現代人的「孤獨」與「疏離」，其意蘊是深切且沉痛的，值得我們一再閱讀、不停思索。

Yuan Zhe-Sheng's A Lonely Game is a novel about the modern mind. Loneliness is the core theme that is present in the text. The novel describes the human desire of individuals who are powerless to face the dilemma of their separate lives. This article analyzes the dialogue of the novel in relation to Erich Fromm's two views of “individuation” and “love” and discusses the profound description of “loneliness” and “alienation” that is present in the novel's text. These descriptions offer observations on the life situation of the individual who is lonely because of self-consciousness, is withdrawn because of loneliness, and is alienated from both themself and others because of their withdrawal. As the novel states, the inability of modern people to “love” (give) lies in people's rejection of their individuality and their excessive desire to be “loved” (received). In A Lonely Game, people fail to establish their internal self-identification and are unable to find external love and subordination. In their lives, they struggle with the contradiction between “hiding” and “reappearing” both fragile and confused. Yuan Zhe-sheng, who was in Taiwan in the 1990s, was keenly aware of such a subtle spiritual problem; this was the inspiration for his “lonely writing.” Its meaning is deep and painful, and it is worth reading and thinking about again and again.