男性情感初探：一位失婚男性的生命困局

Inquiry of Affection of the Men: Confused Situation of the Life of the Man Had Divorced

失婚男性面對婚姻危機與情感問題，常常是無能為力與感覺失落，然而我們只是歸因於男性壓抑情感和缺乏學習嗎？本研究從華人文化心理視框來看失婚男性的故事，因為「生命神話」引導著我們如何生活，並將情感與生命意義扣連在此生活腳本。對情感經驗的探究，研究方式是讓個案說一段情感故事，採回憶性資料，再用敘事探究分析文本中的經驗，找出核心議題，最後由研究者編輯出一個有主題的故事。研究結果將故事分四段關係闡述，分別為「原生家庭：壓抑與疏離」、「社會人倫道理」、「努力經營，為何還是沒了家」及「生命的失落」，故事敘說著遵守生命神話與社會倫理的傳統男性，不解自己為何沒有圓滿的家、好的結果，以「苦命」自嘲生命的失落。「力」、「禮」、「家」、「命」是生命神話裡的文化格局，以此視框詮釋男性情感，可發現情感意義是依附在格局內的行為，情感不是用說的，而是依附倫理所生，並靠對方的默會與回饋體現彼此關係。其中「命」則是特別安置那些沒有結果的人。如今這個格局已隨社會變遷解構，以家庭為中心的傳統男性也不能保證有圓滿的神話結果。失婚男性的婚姻問題不僅是情感困局，同時也帶出了文化與生命意義的危機。本文建議對男性生命的詮釋不要過簡的西體中用，而是理解我們自身的文化心理底蘊，重新詮釋情感與生命發展的意義，從這個基石上綜和各種路徑，思考需要什麼資訊才能創造一種資源與條件協助男性體察情感議題，產生轉化的可能。

The man had divorced feels powerless and dejected on crisis of the marriage and emotion. Is it due to depress and immovable of the man? The Researcher reads the story of the man had divorced by the frame of The Chinese Cultural Psychology, because of ”The Chinese Life Myth” guided people to live, put the meaning of the life and affection in the life script. The Research of affect experience, it let people narrate his life story about affections and interpersonal relationship, then analyze it by Narrative Inquiry, find the core issue. Finally, the new story with the theme is created and edited by researcher. Research result: the story is divided to four relationship of the topic: ”Family-of-Origin: depressive and distant”, ”Socialization: defer to ethics”, ”Be divorced? Why?” and ”Lose of the life”. But the storyteller can’t figure out why life is broken? He calls oneself as wretch. The researcher order by the culture frame: ”Power”, ”Ethics”, ”Home”, ”Fate”, make the reinterpretation of affection of the men. The affection isn’t declared, it is action, and the meaning of that must attach to the relation of the social ethics, plus the grasp and feedback by another one to finish it. ”Fate”, the way of saying a thing, to comfort him failed in the life myth. But now, the myth was changed. The proposition of the research is that considers culture difference, not simplify and quickly to orientate the question of the men. We need to understand what our background of the cultural psychology influence, and to integrate ways of possible to think on the basic, find what information we need, create the resources and conditions to help the men feel their affection, then reflect and create one.