回家的路：新舊世紀之交外省第二代作家的自我書寫

My Way Home: Second-Generation Mainlander Writers’Autobiographical Writing at the Turn of the New Century

新舊世紀之交的臺灣，距1949年的巨變已半個世紀，戰後出生的外省第二代作家，剛走完璀璨青春，步向哀樂中年。1980年代以來的本土化運動，蔚然成林，沛然莫之能禦。青春盡頭、初老之前，外省第二代的中年男女，身處時代夾縫與世代鴻溝之中，如何通過「自我書寫」來縫合那不可避免的斷裂、重新確認自我的身分？ 這篇文章連綴個人自我書寫的小敘事，藉以呈現歷史洪流中個體如何審視自我，以自我書寫來應答外在世界的提問，同時探問個體歷史與集體歷史之關連（或不關連）。 這是一篇形式比較特別的學術書寫，作為敘事型論文，期待能在學術嚴謹的基礎上，重返古典史學的敘事傳統。這也是一篇作者在場的論文，作為一個觀察者兼當事人，作者的身影通篇隱約其中，而在篇末現身登場、嘎然而止。

In Taiwan, at the turn of the new century, half a century has passed since the dramatic year of 1949, marking an end to the youth of the post-war generation who found themselves in their bittersweet middle age. The Taiwanese localization movement since the 1980s has now become a prominent and irresistible trend. Bidding farewell to their youth, anticipating the brink of old age, while trapped in the crevasses of history and a generation gap, how did those middle-aged second-generation Mainlander writers contend with the unavoidable rupture in their lives and redefine themselves through their writing? By connecting a series of micro autobiographical narratives written by individual writers, this article aims at exploring how individual writers, by reflecting on their personal experiences, respond through autobiographies to the challenges raised by their new homeland. It also investigates the connection (or disconnection) between personal and collective history. This article takes on a relatively special form of academic writing. As a narrative historical research article, it is expected to return to the narrative tradition of classical historiography without compromising its academic value. This is also a research where the author himself is both an observer as well as a participant. While lurking behind the entire grand narrative, the author’s role only becomes overt at the end of the article to mark an abrupt ending to the project.