失序的家庭與教育──吳曉樂《你的孩子不是你的孩子》角色形塑

Disorderly family and education - the study of role making in Wu Xiao-Le “On Children＂

《你的孩子不是你的孩子》一書，吳曉樂以家庭教師的身份介入遊走於無數家庭。她敏銳的觀察與自省能力，深刻描繪出每個家庭角色的生命故事。在升學主義掛帥的教育體制下，父母不斷將社會主流價值觀與期待強加在孩子身上，讓孩子背負家庭與社會體制帶來的多重壓力，努力變成社會想要的模樣，使親子關係無形中被考試與成績綁架而變得扭曲。當父母服膺於僵固的傳統社會體制，利用權威壓迫孩子服從，最終，無論父母或孩子，都成為一個個受傷的靈魂，雙方關係沒有和解的可能。本論文擬以此書作為分析文本，運用情緒勒索與性別分工等觀點，探討父母如何以情緒勒索的方式，逼迫孩子順從自己的要求，而孩子又該如何面對、處理父母的期許及情緒，為自己的人生奮鬥一次。此外，父權體制帶給每位母親沉重的壓力與責任。使父親在家庭中始終缺席，讓母親們內化、複製傳統價值觀，合理化父權綑綁下走樣的親子關係，肩負起教育孩子的任務。倘若孩子無法成為優秀的人，母親便成為家庭與社會首先譴責的對象。為了避免這種情況，母親只好更用力地介入孩子的人生。於是，不論母親或孩子都被禁錮在父權牢籠中，無法逃脫且深受其害。因此，對母親角色的反省也是本論文欲討論的議題。

The main character in “On Children” Wu Xiao-Le appears in many families as a private tutor. Owing to her perspective insight and great introspection, Wu told the life stories of characters in each family profoundly. Under the diplomaism education system, parents impose social mainstream values and their expectations on the children continuously, bringing children to bear pressure from their family and social system - striving to become the person which meets social expectations. However, the parent-child relationship is broken apart by exams and scores invisibly. When parents obey to the rigid traditional social system and use their authority to oppress their children to be ruled by them, whether parents or children, both will get hurts and never make up with each other eventually. This paper is taking “On Children” as the text and using “Emotional Blackmail” and “gender division of labor” perspectives to discuss how parents force their children by emotional blackmail and what children should do to face their parents' expectation and emotions. Besides, every mother is under a lot of pressure through patriarchy system “Father” is always absent in the family, and it makes “mother” internalize herself, follow traditional values, rationalize the parent-child relationship which is bound by the patriarchy, and then “mother” takes teaching children as her responsibility. If kids cannot be outstanding people, “mother” become the first condemning target by their family and the society. For avoiding this situation, “mother” has to interfere more in their children's lives. Consequently, “mother” and “child” are both imprisoned by patriarchal cage, they could not escape and suffered from it. Therefore, reflection on the role of “mother” is also the main topic of this paper for disscution.