納蘭性德友道觀之探論

Research on Nalan Xingde's Principle of Friendship

儒家以朋友為「五倫」之一，視為人生之所必須，而友情善始易，善終並不容易，歷史上互許為知己，卻凶終隙末者甚多。納蘭性德為清初之世家貴冑，以詞聞世，其真摯之性情，見諸詞作，以關於愛情與友情者最為感入。納蘭在世時間雖然不長，卻因為疏財仗義、救困扶危，與諸落拓不羈、特立獨行的疏狂才士之友誼，而傳誦於當時及後世，其人之友道固有可供今日之借鑑者。雖然納蘭未有論友道之專文傳世，但是，從其生平作品之與友情相關者，以及去世後，其摯友之哀詞、祭文、墓誌銘，以及撫今追昔，深切悼惜的追思文字中，大致可以知道納蘭性德的友道何以感服人心，要而言之，即善於選擇朋友、平等交往，與寬容的襟懷，對於朋友能夠真誠的欣賞、同情，彼此心靈相互呴濡慰藉，以及無私的幫助。

Friendship is honored as one the ＂five ethical relationships＂ and a necessity of life by the Confucianists. However, friendship is easy to start, but hard to last. History has provided us with many examples of people who vowed to be mutual confidants, and yet, ended up as sworn enemies. Nalan Xingde was descended from a noble family in the early Qing Dynasty, famous for Ci-poems of true nature, excelled especially in heartfelt romantic love and friendship. During his short lifespan and in later generations, Nalan Xingde was widely eulogized for his generosity in aiding the needy and associating with the unbridled mavericks. His noble deeds of friendship may well be worthy to borrow as an exemplar for people today. Although he has left us no monograph illustrating the art of friendship, but we can still gain a glimpse from his lifeworks related to friendship as well as the words of condolence, elegiac address and epitaphs from his friends of how his friendship has impressed people in such a profound way. To put it in a nutshell, he has mastered the art of choosing friends, and interacted with them on an equal footing with tolerance, and was able to sincerely appreciate, compassionate, solace, and render unselfish help to them.