成為（女）兵：謝冰瑩的軍旅書寫

Becoming A “Female” Soldier: A Study of Xie Bingying’s Military Career Essays

謝冰瑩是中國現代文學女作家中少數具有真正軍伍經驗者，前線服務經驗成為她的創作源頭之一。身為時代新女性，她不僅為爭取婚戀與就學自由而離家，甚至參與了素來被認為是男性專屬的軍隊，視民族國家大責為己任，以「女兵」形象長久地留在文學史上。本文討論謝氏在北伐期間作為北伐正規軍隊的一員而寫下的《從軍日記》、自行組織湖南婦女戰地服務團而寫下的《新從軍日記》，以及出版於兩次前線服務之間、帶有自傳性質的《一個女兵的自傳》。女性從軍或上前線服務，是否就意味著女性地位的提高？軍隊作為與外界隔離的全控機構（total institution），通過一致、重複且集體的作息、單一權威的管控、預先安排的生活行程、服裝與身體的管訓等策略，對成員實施再社會化（resocialization），使之成為服從且融入機構內的一員，對女兵也不例外。然而，接受了同樣訓練後，女兵仍被認定應當從事宣撫、護理的工作，而非前線作戰，擬男化的軍隊訓練無法改寫性別分工，甚至可以說，女兵是在公領域延續了女性在私領域的角色，是家務勞動的公共化。由於強烈認同軍人形象、嚮往殺敵報國，謝冰瑩帶有自傳性質的軍旅寫作中，「女」的生理身份幾乎為「兵」的自我鍛造所壓倒，一切被劃歸為「女」的元素，都在成為「兵」的前提下，應當去之而後快，愛欲的身體和愛國的身體被視為互斥。同時，女性加入軍隊此一陽剛領域，不只在日常生活上遭遇困難，體力與健康的差異更使得「女兵」自覺矮了「兵」一截。女性從軍，究竟是解放還是受規訓？歷經過「女」與「兵」的種種糾葛，謝冰瑩渴望去「女」成「兵」，實際上，「女」性特質該不該保留，端視其是否能在戰爭中被工具化。最後，她還是肯認了與「兵」仍有差異的「女兵」身分。

Xie Bingying (謝冰瑩) was among only few female writers in the Modern Chinese literature who really held a military career. Her first-hand frontline experience was part of her abundant inspiration for writing. As a woman of the new era, she left home and strived for finding her love relationship freely and getting education. She deliberately chose to join the military, which traditionally was considered to be exclusively for male, and took the responsibility of the country or even the people, as a figure of “female solider” in the literary history. The essay is on three books: War Diary (從軍日記) written during Xie’s participation as a regular Nationalist soldier in the Northern Expedition, the New War Diary (新從軍日記) written during her organization of Hunan Women Battlefield Service Corp., and A Woman Soldier’s Own Story(一個女兵的自傳) published between two duties and considered to be somehow autobiographical. While women join military or engage frontline service, does it mean that the status of the gender is raised? The military is a total institution that is isolated from others. The members in it go through unified, repetitive, and group daily routines, under authoritarian control, prearranged schedules, policy-controlled outfits and bodies, and undergo re-socialization. Hence, a member only could obey and fit in the institution, and there was no exception for female soldiers. Thus, once accepted same training, female soldiers were still thought to only fit for pacification and nursing assignments, not to be fighting on the battleground frontline. The male-personification of military training could not rewrite the gender-division; in the other words, a “female soldier” was an extension into the public sphere from the female’s role in the private sphere, only to make the domestic labors public. With the strong identification of military image aiming to eliminate enemies, and to save the country, Xie’s autobiographical writing of military career, from the beginning, the biological identity of “female” had been crushed by the self-forging of identity of “solider.” Everything considered as part of “female” identity was eliminated for good under the premise of the “solider” identity fulfillment. The love desiring body and the state loving body were mutually exclusive. At the same time, when a female entered the military, a muscular territory, not only daily life suffered; further, the difference of physical strength and health would have made a “female soldier” even lesser than a conventional sense of “soldier.” Is having women in the military liberating or under a discipline? After experiencing the complicated matters of being “female” and “soldier,” Xie wished to strip “female” from the “soldier” identity. In fact, whether the “female” character should remain, it depended on if it could be utilized in the war time. Ultimately, she recognized that she was only a “female soldier” which was still different from a “soldier.”