瑣碎的生命紀事：艾美莉亞的日記

A Trifling Life Story: The Diary of Amelia Buss

美國的拓荒史基本上是一部「他的故事」，男性的日誌常被用為像地圖一樣的實用工具來探測和征服疆土，而女性的日記、書信則描述她們的觀察以及表達她們的個人印象及意見。從這些女性瑣碎的日常生活記載，我們不但能得以從一個微觀的角度來看美國的拓荒史，更可以因此點點滴滴地勾勒出拓荒女性生活的面貌和她們的社群。本文藉由分析艾美莉亞‧巴絲日記所載一年餘持家、置家的過程，來了解一位拓荒的家庭主婦的生活內涵與心路歷程。全文由三個面向來分析日記：書信的母題，家的具體成形，以及新社群之建立。無論在精神上或物質上，艾美莉亞和「家」的緊密結合彷彿反映女性作為「家中天使」的角色。但是艾美莉亞並不是一位順從的妻子，壓抑自己來討好「主人」。從她的日記裡，我們看到她反覆、單調且瑣碎的生活，也看到了她的焦慮、沮喪、快樂和她緩慢而辛苦地適應本是一片蠻荒的天地。她的身分識別是藉著他人而被定義的。她的直系家屬固然重要，但是同樣重要的還有她的女性朋友。若要以圖示，中心是艾美莉亞，旁邊是她先生和女兒，遠一些是她的女性社群，再遠一些是她的姊妹們。最外面的則是出自這種種關係之中，騎馬出遊的艾美莉亞，享受著美好的天氣，享受著生命之青翠。

Given that the frontier history of America is in general a his-story, men's journals bear significance for they serve as maps to help explore and conquer new lands, while women's journals are ignored because they are the scribble of trivial daily living. However, women's private writings may revise the his-story of the American frontier by the perspectives from the inside of the home and at the same time tell the her-story of the frontier. To understand the development of feminine identity of Amelia Buss (1834-1884) in terms of the making of the home, this paper analyzes her diary from three of perspectives: the letter motif, the physical formation of the home, and the building of the new community. Amelia was no obedient wife who simply suppressed herself to please her 'master.' In her diary, we see her repeated daily life activities. But we also see her worries and fears and her slow and painful adaption to the wilderness. She is a woman whose identity needs to be defined in relation to others. Her blood families are important. And as important are her female friends. If we map Amelia's living space, we find she stands in the core, with her husband and daughter beside her. Around her, there are her female neighbors. Farther around her, her sisters. Still farther, the Amelia on horseback enjoying the fine weather and all the greenness of life.