剪斷肚臍帶，要做大人樣：一位客家女性生命處境中的「困」與「尋」

Trapped v.s. Finding Way Out: The Life Story of a Hakka Woman

這是一篇客家女性生命處境中「困」與「尋」的故事。引動我的是那張「臉」，那是我熟悉、深刻記憶的客家女性的臉，好怨、好苦、卻好有力道。透過一年半的敘說與傾聽，立基於「個人在歷史社會文化脈絡中」及「人就是敘說」的觀點，採用生命故事研究取徑，試圖捕捉並再現作為家庭主婦又同時以洋裁養活一家四口的菊子之生命故事。菊子生命的前半段侷困在「沒有文憑而自卑」中，進入婚姻之後，卻「困」在婚姻與家庭關係中，那是環扣著「做人媳婦要認份」規訓與傳承、「與原生家庭無可預期的斷裂關係」以及「家庭經濟條件的弱勢」。如此被困住的生命，如何找尋出口？透過收音機的資訊，生命主體認清一定要走出家庭，尋找社群的支持，才有改變的可能性，於是在社群中不斷地敘說與回觀自身的生命，才得以鬆動過往生命經驗的看待，在安置自身中賦予生命不同的看見、在自我轉化的歷程中朝向一種主體性的追尋、以及在個人行動中連結相同處境的人群。

This story originates from a informant’s “face”. Jane has a typical Hakka woman’s face which is shaped by hardship、perseverance and perhaps somewhat resentment . Based on the view of” constructing individual’s subjectivity in the historical and socio-cultural context” and based on the view of “person as narrative”, the researcher spent one and half year try into present the essence of Jane’s life by way of listening and writing her spoken personal “her-story”. The impasse and the adversity of her life is the vehicle of those unshakeable social control and suppression. Inferiority for lacking of diploma and marital conflicting besieges her life. Jane counterattacked her gloomy “her-story” with her continuously retrospection、reflection、and participation of group-work in the community in order to find way out. This is what Jane said “cutting off the umbilical cord and become a person”, and the process of doing subjectivity.